Thought it was better, I lied.

Danny went into remission a little over a month ago... The doctor told us he would be fine and that he was looking healthier all the time. He had gained close to 15 or more pounds back and was eating really well.

Fast forward two weeks and we've now been given a harder road to take. He was diagnosed with brain cancer. There are at least 5-6 different lesions on his brain, including one on his sinus cavity, and one in the deep center of the brain. The prognosis is better than we could have hoped. But worse than what we were praying for. 

The doctor says with treatments, he could live as long as 3 years maybe 4. That is only if he responds well to said radiation treatments. Chemo isn't an option this time, as it won't have any affect on the brain. Surgery also isn't an option. All I was praying for was for him to get better, and now all I can pray for is more time. The doctor is trying to be optimistic, but he also is being realistic by telling him he still should probably get his affairs in order. It's hard, extremely hard, especially since he and my Mom are soul mates and finally found happiness in each other. She struggles daily with the thought of losing that perfect piece of her puzzle, the man that makes her whole. She is so brave, and stronger than I could ever hope to be. I don't know how she does it. 

It's hard knowing that he isn't going to be here much longer. I know that I am doing my best to enjoy what little time I do have left with him. I am praying for more time with him. He may be a jerk at times, but he has been the closest thing to a real Dad that I've ever known. 

Well, even though I have so much more I would like to write, I can't bring myself to it at this time. 

Until next time,

Remember the Simple Things in Life.

***I know I usually post a simple moment of the week, or what have you, but tonight it's hard to pick just one. Every moment of your life is so special. Even if you don't think it is, or don't think you are, remember someone, somewhere thinks you are the best thing in this world. So make every moment count.

                                                                                                                      Liz

Happy News and Travel

The family got some exciting news this week. The tumor in the esophagus has shrank from 11 cm to 4 cm. This was the best news we have gotten in a couple months. The doctor says he is on his way to remission and we couldn't be happier. He has more energy and is getting back to his old self. He is up more than he is down now, and getting around better than he has in a long while. He has also regained most of his appetite and is able to consume  more food. He is finally gaining weight again which makes me happiest of all. 

Where he lost a lot of weight, I have gained a lot of weight and should probably be thinking about losing some myself. 

Travis and I are going to be attending a wedding next weekend in another state. We have everything booked, confirmed and are super excited about taking a weekend to visit with friends. I can't wait to see our friend say "I do" to a sweet woman whom I met in December. She seemed wonderful and he loves her a lot. 

The work situation is as ever difficult. My team and I aren't getting along nearly as well as we used to. I think it's because I have grown up a little more and have decided that it isn't worth the time and effort to put in to arguing with them. It isn't worth my health, or my sanity. I want a career like I stated in my last post, not just a job that I work to get me from week to week.

Well it isn't much of a post this time, but I have some work I need  to do and need less distractions from it. 

*Simple Moment of the Post*

It's nice to be told you're appreciated and more often than not recently I have been told this. It's nice and it's a good change of pace from what I have had in the recent months. Travis has been a great help in boosting my confidence recently.

Until next time,

Remember the Simple Things in Life.

Ups and Downs of adult hood

Things have been up and down with me lately. I haven't really gotten anywhere in the job search (a down) but I have decided to go back to school and get a paralegal degree. I would like a career, not a job.

Sadly, I find out more every day about what people truly think of me, and I am at the point where I don't care. I have grown enough over the course of the last decade to know that I shouldn't care what other people think. As much as it still might sting a little bit, I need to take everything with a grain of salt. I shouldn't care what others think of me, regardless of my relationship with anyone. You could be my best friend or my worst enemy, I don't care. Opinions of anyone other than my family and boyfriend are now null and void. As long as my new employer *whom ever it might be* likes me and appreciates my work, that is all that matters to me. I don't care what people think anymore. You don't like me? Fine, don't need you in my life either. You can't stand my personality? Cool. That means I am doing my job right. You don't like how I run things? Sweet, find another job.
Things happen in our life for a reason. The hard times make us stronger and allows us to really appreciate all the good times that we have. The phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" seems to be my motto.
My family has been through a lot in the recent months, and I have grown to appreciate them more than ever.
I never thought being an adult would be harder than being a child. I don't think any child thinks that way. I believe that all children think that being an adult is the best thing in the world. You can get up when you want, eat what you want and when you want. You can have your own home where you can come and go as you please.
Boy are we all wrong. Being an adult, is one of the hardest things anyone will have to do throughout their life. I am thankful that my Mom kept a lot of the heartache, disappointment and the stress from me as long as she could. She prepared me as I got older that life was full of 'adult up and downs' but I never understood completely until I was a grown up.
Well, I need to get back to adult job searching.

*Simple Moment*
I was packing my boyfriend's lunch for him the other morning and he asked me the sweetest question. "Have I told you how much I love you lately?" I answered no, since he indeed had not. "Well, I love you a whole lot, and you mean the world to me." I got a kiss on the forehead, and a tight hug. It was wonderful.

Until next time,
Remember the Simple Things in Life

It's gets better all the time

Like the title says, things keep getting better.
Danny only has a week and a half left on his radiation and has already completed all 3 chemo treatments. Once he is finished with the last few radiation treatments he has to have surgery to have the two tumors removed. Hopefully it will be in remission soon and then a lot of the stress around my house will ease up. 
I know Danny wants to take my Mom camping as soon as he is better and can take longer trips without tiring out so easily. I am excited for them both. :) 
He seems to be doing better than he was, which is such  relief. He is getting more solid food down now that the tumor is shrinking. He still has his rough patches, but we work through them. My work schedule keeps me really busy, but hopefully, I can still spend some quality time with them at least once a week. I am glad to see him finally feeling better and doing more around the house.  

On another note, things with the boyfriend have been amazing the last couple of months. He has been super supportive for me and my family. He has been kind, caring and so wonderful. We were able to have a date night the other night, and it was dinner and a roaming through our favorite book store. It was the best night in the world. He bought me dinner and we talked, about everything. My upcoming birthday, Danny's health, my Mom, his Mom, and we talked about the fundraising I was doing for the LLS.

I am over half way to my goal of $250 but I want to raise as much as I can. I want to keep raising money until I have to get it all turned in. Well I have to get ready for work now, but I will update again, hopefully sooner than the last gap in my posting.

*Simple Moment of the Day*
While sitting at dinner the other night, Travis reached across the table and grabbed my hand. He smiled and said I was irreplaceable. It made my heart melt. 

Until next time,
Remember the Simple Things in Life.

 http://pages.lightthenight.org/ga/nmetro12/LMcKinnon

Spending Time with Family

I have been spending more time with my family lately, and staying home more often than not. Danny is responding to treatments as well as we can hope. Almost 2 full weeks in and he has his days. When he has good days, his days are great. When he has his bad days, they are heartbreaking. 
He is able to eat a little more now than he could and is getting some solid food down thank goodness. He actually gained a couple pounds the last 2 days, which makes me happier. He has more color in his face today than he has in 3 or 4. 
I am getting lots of quality time with the family and seem to be bonding with the parents more than I have in years. My stepdad seems to have done a complete 180 from what he was 6 months or more ago when I started my blog. He has become a lot nicer to everyone it seems, and less picking is being done. He seems appreciative of everything I do rather than picking at every little thing. 
He's better today than he was the last 2 days and it's nice to see him up and walking around and doing things. I am hoping that he keeps having better and better days. I hate to see him sleeping all day and not being able to eat very much. It breaks my heart, completely breaks my heart. 

Well it's a short blog post today, but I have some chores to finish up before doing anything else. 

*Simple Moment of the Day*
I was able to have a quiet 45 minutes yesterday with my boyfriend's Mom, Tani. We sat on the back deck at their house yesterday evening, had a drink and did some reading. It was quiet except for the lawnmower going. 

Until next time,
Remember The Simple Things in Life.

http://pages.lightthenight.org/ga/nmetro12/LMcKinnon

Never More Than You Can Handle

The old saying always goes, "God will never put more on your plate than you can handle". I am hoping this is true, because He seems to be testing me more than ever now. 
Last week my family received some heartbreaking news. My Stepdad was diagnosed with cancer for a second time. :( 
There are two spots, one right above his stomach and below his esophagus and the other spot is right at his collar bone on his right side. The doctors are optimistic and say they can get it all with chemotherapy and radiation. I am praying they are correct. He went for his pre-op today to discuss when they are putting the portal into his chest.
This means he can do some chemotherapy at home every day rather than showing up to the doctor's office 2-3 times a week. He has to do roughly 30 radiation treatments and reports to have his pump refilled every 2 weeks. When he reports he has to have a 5 hour treatment of chemo. 
It's hard on the family right now but the next 2-3 months are going to be really rough. The doctor said if they can't get it all with treatments then they can at least shrink it enough to remove the tumors. I am hoping they can get it all with treatments. My Mom is being so strong and I know she is scared like the rest of us, but she doesn't show it to keep us from freaking out. 
I am part of a group called Stick it 2 Cancer. The goal for this year is $104,000 in fundraising for the LLS, Leukemia Lymphoma Society. My Stepdad wants to make a donation to our cause. He said, "If $20 brings us closer to finding a cure for me, then I am all in." 
I want now more than ever to find a cure, and to help people in my Stepdad's situation. I want to keep him around for more than just 12 years that I have had so far. I want him there when I get married, and have children. It seems selfish to me right now that it's for me that I want to keep him around. I want him around for my Mom. She finally found love and happiness and I don't want her to suffer. I don't want him to suffer. I want to keep my family together. 

http://pages.lightthenight.org/ga/nmetro12/LMcKinnon 

This is my personal page for the LLS Light the Night walk this year. Please, help me and my family find a cure. Each week of cancer research costs $1,000 and our group wants to raise enough for 2 years of research. 


God doesn't give you more than you can handle, it's true. Help me make a difference, and find a cure. Together, we can help others in my situation.

A Prayer for a Mother

The hardest thing anyone will ever have to go through is the loss of a child. I don't know how it feels and hope and pray to God I will never have to go through it. I know a couple of Mothers who have gone through this sorrow and far too soon. I won't mention their names to keep their heartache private but I wanted to dedicate this posting to them. It doesn't take long to become a Mother, but it takes time, comfort, caring and kindness to make a Mom. 

A Mom is a person who does everything in her power to be a rock for her kids and her family.  She is the first to rise in the morning and usually been the last to go to bed at night. She is the most selfless person and always makes sure everyone else is taken care of before herself. She prides herself on her family and not on her outfit or her hair. She usually walks around in some kind of yoga pants and sneakers chasing after the little devil she caught sticking a hand in the cookie jar. 

Most times we take for granted everything a Mom does for us. Most times Moms don't get the recognition that they deserve. It's usually a thanks and a peck on the cheek for something that took them hours to come up with. And sometimes, it isn't even that. 

 

I wish I could take the pain from a good friend of mine her recently lost her son. She is wonderful and brave and I have no idea how she does it every single day.  I hope and pray that God stays with her and helps heal her pain. It will never go away, but hopefully with time and lots of prayer it will be a bearable pain. She has a strong support system around her.

I think we should all be more thankful for everything that our Moms do for us. I know I am thankful for my Mom and all she does. Even the little things she does for me. Moms are a blessing from God and I am thankful for every Mom in my life tonight.

*Simple Moment of the Day*

I was surprised when my boyfriend stopped by today. He had said otherwise. He spent about an hour or so with me. We didn't do much of anything since I was cleaning and doing laundry but it was nice to have a quiet moment with him.

Until next time,

Remember the Simple Things in Life.